fandomisnotyoursafespace:

shakingcane:

concernednerdfather:

From my knowledge, here’s the very basics of what I think more people need to be aware of when it comes to shipping. Thanks.

No.

Your (and my) safe space is the dashboard,our blog, our choices of fiction. Not what the others do. You don’t get to impose your rules to someone else, just like you refuse someone else’s rules on what you can stand.

Fiction is not reality. Depiction is not endorsement. You can ship something you won’t accept in real life, the same way you can like murder stories and not be cool with murder. Because there is a difference between fiction and reality, no matter how many people refuse to learn that.

You seriously think a fic will have more weight than the regular media? You greatly overestimate fandom. You also greatly underestimate the importance of exploring dark stuff safely. Safe, because fiction =/= reality.

The only shipping courtesy people can do is tagging their stuff, so people who don’t like it, who are squicked by it, who are triggered by it, can avoid it. That’s all. 

“You can only use it as a coping method”? Do you realise the implication of this rule? Are you going to go after every dark fic’s readers and writers and ask about their past, their trauma? Are you going to ask them to reveal them, decribe it to be sure it’s okay, that it’s bad enough to make their choice okay? Is it your definition of safe? Me first?

Because I won’t. I won’t tell. Because fuck you, stranger on internet, for telling me how to be a good girl, and put the blame on stories, readers and writers, for abusers’ choices and actions.

“But how kids will now it’s bad?!?” By their parents. Their friends. The tv. The news. The books. People at school, at work. No-one’s life is restricted to tumblr and ao3.

“Stop shipping this or you’re a bad person” is bullshit. Just like stop/start watching a show, or reading a book or you’re a bad person. Kids, your morality is not determined by your fic/ship preference. 

Tag your stuff, put the nsfw (aka porn/gore) behind a cut or a read more, don’t harass people who don’t like the same thing than you, don’t act like you’re morally superior for shipping one thing instead of the other, block and ignore anyone who want to make you responsible for someone’s else actions, don’t click on stuff you know you won’t like based on the pairing, the tags or the summary, don’t click and read if you’re not sure, have a friend try first if you still want to read it, and accept that fandom is too big to be appreciated and done the same way by everyone.

I’m sure there’s a movie, a book, a book series, or a tv show you can’t stand, and yet, you know how to deal with its existence. It’s the same thing, on a smaller scale. Because trust me, avoiding incest, abuse and rape in fandom is 1000% easier to do than in the rest of the media.

At least, fandom warns. And no, making the bad stuff disappear in stories won’t make it disappear in real life. 

One more time, for those on the back of the room: fiction =/= reality. Learn that. Teach that. Because those who don’t know that are the people who thinks something bad is okay because a story said it so. The rest of us can watch something like Fast and Furious and know it’s not okay to repeat the car chases IRL, as one example amongst many.

All of this. Beautifully said.

Also, anyone who labels themselves a fandom “mom,” “dad,” or the like is someone who should raise a big red flag for others. Random strangers on the internet aren’t your parents. For them to call themselves such is grossly presumptuous. If you need a “mom” or “dad” to watch you on the internet, your actualfacts parents should install a nanny filter.