I was 16. I had figured out I was bi a few months prior. I already dated a few guys, none of them for longer than 5 months. I was told it was a phase.
I started dating a girl. She was also bi, but she had been out since she was 13. In the past, she had dated 2 guys and a girl. We were both told we’d leave the other for a guy, but especially me.
You had no experience with girls before her so how can you be sure you’re bi? You aren’t “really” bi. You’re going to cheat on her with a girl. Maybe she’ll cheat on you too. There’s no way you’ll last. You’re just stupid girls looking for attention. When you grow up, you’ll realize you’re straight. I heard it all.
Can I have a threesome? Why not? You’re both bi. Can I watch you two kiss? Can I watch you two have sex? You’re so sexy together. I’m going to masturbate to the thought of you two tonight. This is a sampling of some of the creepy comments we received, from both boys our age and men too old to have any business talking to us.
About 6 months into our relationship, people were shocked we were still together. At this point, I decided to embrace my masculine side. With guys, I had to present perfectly feminine for them to show any interest. When I buzzed my hair off, my girlfriend kept running her hand over it, remarking on how good it felt. When I opted for baggy flannels and jeans instead of skirts and blouses, she told me how sexy I looked. When I stopped wearing makeup, she said I looked amazing regardless.
Ew, why are you doing that? Are you trying to be (insert lesbophobic slurs here)? What if you break up with your girlfriend? No guy will ever want you. You looked so much better with your hair grown out. Aren’t you self-conscious, leaving the house without makeup? You should really shave. You’re going to let your hair grow out, right? Are you okay? Is this because you’re mentally unstable? Another sampling of the comments I got, from both men and women… including my own mother.
Fast forward 2 years. I’m going into college and we’re still dating. I love her. Sure, some guys are hot I guess, but being with her feels so amazing. Authentic. I’m still bi, and proud to be bi, but sincerely glad I’m dating such a lovely woman rather than the mediocre guys I dated in the past.
Are you lesbian now? No? Well, you’re going into college. Aren’t you going to experiment with guys? Don’t you miss guys? Surely you must have cheated on her by now. No? Then she’s obviously cheated on you. You won’t last through your freshman year of college. Maybe you’ll still end up with a guy. More comments I didn’t ask for.
Fast forward 4 years. We’re graduating college. We’re still together. I’m still presenting tomboyish, and I’m happiest this way.
Another year passes. I propose. I’m going to wear a tuxedo, she’s going to wear a dress. My mother isn’t attending. She barely talks to me anymore. But her family is, and they’re more of a family to me than mine has ever been. Our friends will be attending. It’s going to be beautiful.
No, it wasn’t a phase.
You were all wrong.
HEYYYYYYYYYOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO
Don’t fucking erase us. DON’T. ERASE. US.
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