femliberation:

femliberation:

So many horrific stories of abuse start with “he was great until we got married” and that’s honestly so fucking upsetting because it’s relatively normal.

Like so many women are so, so careful before they commit to a man in any way because he could turn out to be a horrible abuser. They find one they think is different, one they think they can trust, and as soon as they’re legally bound to him he turns out to be exactly what they feared he would be.

That’s horrible.

And, I can say from personal experience, it is embarrassing to get divorced almost immediately after being married. No one cares about how long you were together beforehand or what happened, they just think “Oh it only lasted a year, she’s so irresponsible”. On top of it being exceedingly difficult to get help from the police or other legal assistance(especially if you live together, share funds, children, property, etc.), there’s a heavy stigma that comes with it, only isolating abuse victims further.

I’m trying to think of something to say other than “boycott marriage” because I know that’s not realistic, but at the very least, please support divorced women.

By “support divorced women” I mean:

– don’t make us justify why we got divorced and don’t feel entitled to the details of what happened.

– don’t contribute to the stigma around divorced women that says we’re irresponsible, or that something must be wrong with us.

– If a woman close to you is getting divorced, don’t guilt her into apologizing or going back to her husband. If she’s the one filing, don’t make her question why she wants the divorce.