tyridot:

me: i don’t want to be mentally ill
me, but quieter: but i also don’t want to recover because i don’t know who i’d be without my mental illnesses since they are practically my personality and recovery seems scary and it seems the only point of my life is to hurt because that’s all i’ve ever known. somehow mental illness is a comfort blanket even though it is the reason i need a comfort blanket to begin with and the world beyond this seems oddly confusing and terrifying