bootytwang:

glumshoe:

glumshoe:

glumshoe:

I like haunted houses in theory BUT I have no idea how to react when the actors speak to you. They ask me a question and I just… answer it…

The scariest part of a haunted house is the unscripted social interaction.

Scary nurse in a creepy voice: “Do you have an appointment to see the doctor?”

Me: “Uh. Do you accept walk-ins?”

Scary farmer: “I like to kill people!”

My friend, brightly: “I like to die!”

me, the scary vampire: I know you’re true fears.

unimpressed college friend who doesn’t recognize me: You’re fashion choices?

me: your mountainous student loans and the possibility of this social interaction getting drawn out. Now how’s your mother doing?

college friend: THEY SAID YOU COULDN’T HURT US!!!