scotchtapeofficial:

scotchtapeofficial:

i thought succulents were supposed to be the easy do-nothing plant thats impossible to kill but these fuckers are WAY more difficult than all the beans i had to grow in high school. wtf

a normal plant: just fuckin stick it in the sun and give it water. lookin malnourished? nourish it. stuff like blight, aphids, and spider mites are easy as fuck to diagnose and treat.

a god damn succulent, apparently: only likes dry aerated soil mixtures and barely any water ever and lots of indirect sunlight but no direct sunlight and sometimes they just start to look rotting and crinkly and mushy which either means theyre overwatered or underwatered or the soil’s retaining too much moisture or they’re just sad about living in your shitty house. will become naked and die for no apparent reason. you fucking suck

also fucking succulents: throw a rotten dead leaf from 1964 on a plate and watch it spring back to FUCKING life, i guess.