brunhiddensmusings:

writterings:

writterings:

writterings:

writterings:

whenever a young kid joins our staff at work im just like huh. guess im a father now.

these kids will be like “can you drive me home? i don’t have gas money but-” and im already pullin out my keys and am like. sweetheart, you are a child. i am not charging a child gas money.

i literally almost lunged across the counter to throw hands with some old hag who yelled at and insulted one of our 16 y/o girls but instead i threw her sandwich at her and told her to never fucking come back

old dudes will flirt with our young girls too and i’ll be like ay man this is a truck stop, normal customer service rules dont apply here. i can and will call the cops on you.

i respect truckstop honorary dad

frowningfoxbones:

former-fatty:

dear-tumb1r:

topsiders-tanlines:

thespacemaid:

if anyone would like to learn a couple tricks for carving pumpkins:

– dont cut out the top to scoop out the seeds, cut out the bottom instead. this way the pumpkin doesnt cave in on itself and lasts longer
– sprinkle some cinnamon inside at the top after carving. this way when you put the candle in it smells like pumpkin pie

this is the quality content I wanna see on my dash

– rub the i sides with lemon after you’re done scooping. This will also help preserve the pumpkin

It’s fucking June, at least wait until the fourth of July, you animal.

I’m sorry, I can’t hear you over the sound of me disemboweling this pumpkin.