I grew up in a poly household. My mother was married to two men who loved her dearly and they were the best of friends. I use past tense due to the fact that one of my fathers passed away a few years back.
I grew up in one of the most stable, loving households I can imagine. I had tons of support from all three of my parents, I never felt alone, and I never felt confused about my parents relationship.
Were other people confused when I told them about my parents? Sure. Did it take some time for them to understand my parents relationship? Yep. And the reaction I got every single time from other kids once they understood? “That’s so awesome!”
Growing up in a poly house did not hurt me, confuse me, or make my life difficult. It sure as hell wasn’t abusive.
Healthy poly relationships do not hurt children.
I really want some more recognition for poly relationships. This is a lovely post and a step in the right direction. Couples consisting of two people can be dysfunctional. It’s not just poly relationships.
I fucking hate it when you’re in such a fantastically giddy mood and then you see one simple little thing that makes you think, “oh” and then you just get this empty feeling in your chest and you get nauseous and the world just crumbles and you want to just lay under a blanket and close your eyes and fall asleep and never wake up.
From what my therapist told me, this happens because our emotions aren’t really on the ‘opposite’ ends like we tend to think of it. Happiness is not ‘up’ and sadness is not ‘down’-. In a way they’re actually right ‘next’ to each other.
If you’re super happy, it can turn into super sad very easily, because your emotions are already highly elevated and it’s only a very minor shift as far as your brain is concerned.
Knowing this can help you fight it, and it can help you be more aware of what’s going on while you’re happy and help avoid shifting towards misery.
I used to always wonder why it seemed like my happy days ‘couldn’t last’ or that bad things would ‘always’ happen when I was happy. It’s not that happiness is doomed to fail, it’s that emotions are volatile. I hope that helps people who experience this too- when you understand what’s going on more it’s easier to manage.
