sure, i used to be a regular, but i literally haven’t been to this coffee shop in two years. how do you still remember my order??
you wrote my name down wrong the first time i came here and i didn’t correct you, but you’re really sweet and now i don’t know how to tell you you’ve been calling me by the wrong name for the past month.
i’m the manager and one of the other employees keeps drawing amazing art on the chalkboards, but i can’t figure out who it is?? i’ve been keeping a meticulous schedule to figure out whose shift it appears during
i work opening shift, but whenever i get there at 5:30 somehow you’re always already there, looking flawlessly put together. you haven’t even had your coffee yet. tell me your secrets.
we’re coworkers but we work different shifts and communicate exclusively through post-it notes. maybe i should just give you my phone number already so you can tell me more about the lady who ordered a latte for her ten year old.
you and your friend always sit at the table a couple down from mine and gossip in [insert language here], which happens to be a language i’m currently learning. i’ve been eavesdropping to try and improve my listening comprehension and oh my god are you actually talking about how hot i am???
i love hot chocolate So Much but it’s embarrassing to be the adult ordering hot chocolate at a coffee shop, so do you think you could announce that it’s a different drink when you’re giving it to me??
at the local coffee shop, there’s a chess set set up in one corner of the shop and every morning i move one piece. later in the day, someone else always moves a piece too. i’m dying to know who i’m playing against.
i’m a new hire and you’re trying to show me how to use the espresso machine. i actually already know how to use it, but i’m pretending to be incompetent so that you’ll keep talking to me. please don’t fire me.
When you only want to write certain parts of your story, but in order for those parts to make sense and have any impact you need to write other parts connecting them and you just don’t… wanna…
tumblr has basically stopped notifying me about anything at this point so please don’t think I’m ignoring you if you tag me in something, I just haven’t been receiving notifications!
TIL that a cat once co-authored a physics paper. In 1975, a physicist had just finished writing a paper and was ready to publish but realized that he had used ‘we’ instead of ‘I’ throughout, despite being the sole author. Not wanting to edit the paper, he listed his cat, Chester, as a co-author.
Ok but the best part is, physicists loved the joke. When people called the author’s university and he wasn’t available, they’d ask to speak with the co-author instead. The author issued a limited number of copies of the article signed by both authors. (Chester’s was obviously a pawprint.) And to this day, physics papers will often have F.D.C Willard (Felix Domesticus, Chester Williard [Willard was the author’s father’s name]) mentioned in the footnotes thanking his “useful contributions to the discussion”.
Can 2018 please be the year that the “no straights at pride” rhetoric finally dies because it’s actually toxic as fuck. Saying straight people aren’t allowed at pride excludes:
Straight trans people
Straight NB people
Straight allies there to support LGBTQ+ friends/ family/ partners who may not want to go alone, or who just want to support the community and show solidarity
Straight ace/aro individuals
Bi/pan individuals who are in m/f relationships and who therefore supposedly ‘seem straight’ at face value
Closeted/ questioning individuals
Countless others who are LGBTQ+ and also straight
Being straight shouldn’t exclude someone from pride and thinking it does is just bigoted as hell.
