i walk into starbucks and order a pumpkin spice latte with 13 shots of espresso. i tell the barista that i intend to transcend humanity and become a god. i ask for no whip cream
you say this jokingly but i had a customer actually order a pumpkin spice latte with 9 shots of espresso (also no whip) and when i asked her to verify that she did indeed want 9 shots of espresso she looked me dead in the eyes and said “i have 5 kids”
I once had a woman come in and ordered an Americano with 19 shots of espresso. The drink took ages. It held up the line. I asked her why, and she shrugged and said “I just don’t care”. We still talk about that woman. We never saw her again.
new cryptid: exhausted woman at starbucks
Actual conversation I had at register:
“Hi, welcome to [Starbucks]! What can I get you, today?”
“How much is it to fill a Venti with Espresso?”
“I- I’m sorry?”
“A venti cup. How much to fill it with Espresso?”
“Oh. uh. Well, it’d be I suppose… I only have a button for a Quad. I don’t have special pricing for twenty ounces of espresso in a single… drink.”
“Price is the furthest thing from my mind right now. How many ‘add shots’ is that?”
*deep breath of fear* “It’d be a quad with,” *clears throat* “uh, sixteen additional shots of espresso. But, ma’am, I should tell you that the shots will start to get really bitter if they have to sit and wait for us to pull twenty of them-”
“Taste means nothing to me.”
At this point I am truly fearing for my very existence in the presence of what must clearly be an eldritch being.
“Oh. Well, okay.” I put on my absolute best customer service smile to hide my terror and accept that I must face this dragon, fae, or demon with dignity. “We can certainly get that for you! The price will be _____.”
She begins to pay, I shit thee not, with golden dollar coins. We are a block from Wall Street, and this eldritch demi-being is paying for an unholy elixer with golden coins. My life will end soon, I am sure of it.
“Do you still have the ‘Add Energy’ packets?”
My heart began to race at this request. “Yes ma’am.”
“How many can I add?”
Futile though it is, at least I know the rote response to this. “For health reasons, we won’t add more than one per drink and we cannot sell the packets individually.”
“One then.”
I alter the order and tell her the new price. She pays, dumps the change and five golden dollars into the tip box. I write the order on the venti cup and pass it silently to the girl working the hot beverage station. Normally we called and pass, but this was … not something to be spoken aloud.
My fellow takes the cup, not thinking anything of the minor break with protocol, until she sees the order. She stares at me. “No.”
The woman, which I call her for no other greater insight into her terrifying being is within my grasp, simply stands on the other side and says, calmly but with a commanding tone I expect of Admirals in bad movies, “Yes.”
My fellow barista pales before her task. But we are dutiful, we are true to our task, great though it may be. She sets about clearing the two brand new Matrena’s of all distraction, and sets two tall cups in the ready position. The energy packet is emptied into the venti cup, and the shots begin pouring.
The barista was damn near shaking. This woman’s gaze felt like the fires of the sun. Finally, the shots are pulled, the cup is filled, and the hand off takes place.
Our visiting Incomprehensible takes it to our milk bar and adds a dollop of cream. Satisfied, she proceeds to down what must have been half the damn cup.
Then she smiled at us, like a benediction and I was honestly filled with joy. And horror. She left, and we knew nothing more of her after that.
When I talk with other former employees, we quickly begin talking about “The Company” as if we’d never l, perhaps knowing that part of our soul still powers that awesome and terrible corporate machine. And when I share this stroy, other Baristas at first act shocked but quickly settle and comes the chorus,
“Yeah, I had one like that.”
Okay, Starbucks lore is my new favorite genre of literature. Please collect all these and more into a book.
…………………reblog this and say something nice about the person u reblogged it from because there’s too much hate on my dashboard right now and its making me upset so lets start a chain of love
Attention non-artists who commission artists: don’t fuckin do this???
Actually had someone do this to me too. Was doing a art stream, it took me over 2 hours to do his inked commission, he got a refund cause ‘it took too long’ that he figured I wasn’t going to do it after I gave him the file.
Don’t do this. Do not.
I’ve had this happen to me with a $350 comic I had already finished it, it was full color, 6 panels and had a full bg in every panel. I was lucky in that I didn’t spend him money yet, but it left me without funds. I’ve also had the above happen to me as well.
Don’t do this shit to artists. We’re people too. Drawing for you is more than a hobby. It’s a job.
Use Paypal Invoices.
I cannot stress this enough. That shit helps A LOT when it comes down to Paypal refunds/disputes.
There’s a description box that let’s you put in what the product is/how long it’ll take/yadda yadda, and then there’s another little memo box that only you and paypal can see where you can say it’s a digital commission and doesn’t require shipping (So Donald Mcfuck can’t say that they never got their commission).
And there’s also a box for your Terms & Conditions where you can say, if you have any conflicts/want a refund – email me, or you can actually tell the user that this is a digital commission and they won’t be getting a hard copy of it.
ARTISTS. PLEASE USE PAYPAL INVOICES. it will SAVE you. And to: the people who do this to artists – Fuck you. It’s okay if you change your mind and want a refund. But freaking TALK to us and let us know what’s going on. Let us WORK with you.
ALSO A HUGE TIP: Invoices paid will automatically set up a shipping notice which, if not fulfilled, can land you in SERIOUS hot water with PayPal. Since a lot of artists don’t print and ship the commissions, this is a huge problem.
However! Totally manageable. Just go to your PayPal, scroll down to find Seller Preferences
>> Shipping Preferences
>> Display Ship Button. Make sure all the boxes are unchecked. Then you’re all set!
As a big supporter of artists, don’t you ever fucking dare fuck over an artist like that. Like don’t. And if they take their time to do a good job, don’t shit all over them for it! Don’t be a fucking ass hole. Just don’t. These people put a LOT of work and time and effort into their artwork. Just don’t be that guy. Often times these artists aren’t even getting what they deserve in compensation.
I am very grateful my customers have been good to me, but I’m spreading the word.
Very important!
As a new artist, I’m very grateful for this post. Never knew this. Thank you.
y’all are all for men rejecting traditional gender roles and holding hands with their friends and shit but that moment men actually DO that y’all call them gay and ship them together so don’t try and say that “‘society”’ is the only thing fucked up here
If I see one more of those kinds of things as “”“"evidence”“”“ that a celebrity/youtuber/that-shy-boy-in-your-class isn’t straight I’m going to scream, because 1) please allow boys and men platonic affection this is the entire problem and 2) yeah maybe they are but if you’re right that’s just called outing someone and isn’t cool
I had already finished it, it was full color, 6 panels and had a full bg in every panel. I was lucky in that I didn’t spend him money yet, but it left me without funds. I’ve also had the above happen to me as well.
