Social anxiety is not necessarily having huge panic attacks when you’re in a crowd.
It is, a lot of the time, little things that are usually easy just being complete hell on earth, like:
- Crying just thinking about having to give a presentation in class
- Not playing games or participating in fun activities (even with your friends) because you’re afraid you’ll be terrible at it and people will judge you
- Having to rehearse your order at the restaurant a hundred times
- And counting your money 10 times to make sure you have enough (even though you have plenty)
- Being overly concerned about the way you look because you think people are judging you
- Feeling anxious every time someone laughs because they’re definitely laughing at you oh god
- Getting nervous about coming late to school because you’ll have to get in class and everyone will look at you
- Crying a little when someone says you’re wrong or screams at you (especially in front of other people)
- Not knowing what to talk about even with friends that have a lot of things in common with you
- Feeling uncomfortable being in the front row in class or at the cinema because you think everyone is staring at you
- Thinking and rehearsing for 5 minutes the simple things you’ll have to say in class (like “here” or “yes, I did my homework”)
- Being afraid that the teacher will ask you something in class
- Being embarrassed of something you did or said literally months ago (that probably wasn’t so bad)
- Pushing people away when they show any type of interest because they’re definitely making fun of you and actually hate you
- Going out of your way to avoid someone in public because you actually cannot talk to them
- Biting you tongue or lips or clenching your fists or digging your nails into you leg when you’re embarrassed
- Being scared of being alone with only 1 person because you don’t know what to do or say
- Constantly hating yourself because you can’t do easy things like having a small conversation
Tag: all of these
a good thing to do for your friends with anxiety disorders: if you have a question you need to ask them or something you need to tell them, explain the subject of the question/the statement in the same message as your opening one!
so basically: instead of saying “can i ask you a question?” and sending just that (which, as a person with an anxiety disorder, makes my anxiety go into hyperdrive) go “can i ask you a question about ___?”
it’s a little thing but honestly few things make me anxious like “i have a question for you” or “there’s something i need to tell you” without immediate explanation. thanks!
“call me, nothing is wrong, just wanna talk on the phone” would be so much better than “Call me.”
Actually please to all of this please.
YES PLEASE.
YES THIS OK????? Like I have trained my husband to say “nothing bad, I just need to call you because it’s too much to type.” It helps SO MUCH. Just let me prepare myself, because I guarantee my imagination will take me to much much darker places.
Might I add, if someone with anxiety has just said something to you that’s a lot to process, and you need some time to think about what to say in response, please consider a quick “I’m not ignoring you, I need to think about what to say and I don’t want to say the wrong thing.”
Because that definitely saves your friend with anxiety a lot of strife and assuming they’ve ruined your friendship forever. Nothing is crueler than a “Seen 2:25pm” when it’s 10am the next day and you’re waiting on a reply to a huge confession.
Normally I don’t acknowledge my anxiety very much but to any of my friends this would genuinely be helpful. Thanks
Bonus: even if you don’t struggle with anxiety, this can really help cut down on miscommunication caused by text-monotone! My roommate and I use these a lot to keep from accidentally getting into arguments.
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