what if voltron was just a really long dnd campaign
matt: zarkon emerges from the ship with the black bayard in hand. what do you-
keith: i attack him
matt: …keith you’re a level three
keith: i’m rolling
matt: you arrive at your brother’s grave, confirming that he was one of the casualties in the battle. you collapse into tears in front of it and-
pidge: i’m rolling for perception
matt: wh- what is there to perceive? he’s literally dead-
pidge: it’snat 20
matt: i… you notice that your brother’s birthday on the tombstone is wrong. he’s left you a code. on his grave. for some reason. because apparently he’s not dead now
lotor: i try to convince them to ally with me
matt: you do realize you’ve tried to kill these people on multiple occasions right?
lotor: i’m going for it
matt: …okay. roll for charisma
lotor: …i got a 1
matt: you attempt to charm the princess by talking about her dead father for fifteen minutes
lotor: i try to convince them to give the galra empire unlimited access to quintessence
matt: i- you know what? fine. allura, roll a perception check
allura: ………i got a 1
matt: …you think lotor’s plan is absolutely wonderful and allow him to join your party
matt: the sea serpent follows in quick pursuit. it’s gaining on the blue lion fast and-
lance: can i roll to seduce it?
matt: no
lance: why do you hate me
matt: rax asks if your ship is still working so that you can leave
hunk: well we can’t leave without the crystal, and we still haven’t found out a way to get it…
coran: i have a plan. we attempt to impersonate a galra sentry
matt: you… do realize they’re robots right
coran: yes
matt: alright then. roll a bluff check
coran: i got a 5
matt: you grab a broken sentry and get on hunk’s shoulders, putting on a cloak to hide your body from view. the two of you stumble towards two guards, very obviously whispering to each other under the cloak, and attempt to convince them that their shift is over. they raise their weapons and ask for your identification number
hunk: …yeah i’m just gonna shoot at them now if that’s okay
matt: voltron drives its sword right through zarkon’s robeast. it erupts into brilliant flames and completely destroys his robotic body. the explosion tears voltron apart. shiro, roll for dexterity.
shiro: …why? the battle’s over?
matt: lol
shiro: matt
matt: lol just do it
shiro: i got 20
matt: …how did you roll nat 20. you never roll 20
shiro: i have no idea
matt: shit. i’ll be real i wasn’t expecting that. uh. so shiro’s… shiro’s gone now i guess
shiro: what? where did i go?
matt: give me a second i have to rewrite half the campaign now since you didn’t let me just kill you off like a fucking normal person
I apologize for lashing out. One of my players threw themselves in acid after they were fully aware it was in fact acid. I did not and still do not know how to deal with that.
In the very first D&D game that I ever played, our party was standing right outside the entrance to a dungeon. Part of the area was covered in a red energy field. Inside the red energy field, all of the grass was dead, and right on the border between the area inside the energy field and outside of it, there was a collection of dead animals, insects, and other forest creatures. As we watched, a little bunny came hopping up, hopped into the red energy field, and, the moment that it entered the field, instantly dropped dead.
Guess what one of our players decided to do next. Take a wild fuckin guess.
it either instantly aggros all allies or i get a returning chorus of “HEWWO??? AWE YOU THEWE?” from all cursed friends who are immune to the aggro effects of hewwo
either way it gets everyone’s attention immediately
“Hewwo?” Cantrip. Instant. Verbal component. Duration one minute, no concentration. Upon casting, everyone in hearing range rolls a will save. On a failed save they immediately become hostile to the caster. Anyone else with this cantrip does not need to make the save and can also cast Hewwo as a free action on everyone previously affected. Instead of repeating the will save, each person affected by the original Hewwo immediately gets advantage on melee attacks and strength checks, and disadvantage on concentration, ranged attacks, charisma checks, and dexterity checks for the duration.
I’m guessing that, besides being the team’s mascot/furry, Lance also functions as a tracker of sorts.
His posture (squatting on the ground), the fact that he looks like he’s holding something (like mayhaps a scooped up bit of dirt), the way he’s looking over his shoulder as he gives the team his Opinion, the way they all seem decidedly unimpressed at his deductions considering he only sniffed dirt- Fantasy Tracker™, Babey!
Anyway, going off that, it looks like the party is trying to track something (a monster? Lotor’s character? Keith’s?).
I bet Pidge’s armor makes her super top-heavy. If she fell over, she’d look like a turtle on its back.
Also I can’t get over her CHICKEN ARMS and her BIGASS double-bladed axe like. She really is going all out huh.
I’m also digging the fact that Shiro is wearing a full-on black cloak in the middle of a somewhat sunny forest while hanging with his crew. King of wishing he stayed home! King of withdrawing from others!
I’m already in love with this episode like this is DEFINITELY going to be one of my top five favorite episodes. I feel it in my nerd loving bones.
I sincerely hope that whatever their riding is some big scary monster that scared the pants off everyone except for Allura, who immediately befriended it. Bonus points if there’s a scene where she rubs its tummy.
Maybe it’s some personification/manifestation of the White Lion? Idk, I never finished Season 5 so I don’t really know what’s up with Allura and the White Lion, but this could be a reference to that ep.
I saw a post where someone said that could be Keith’s character which is hilarious and I fully endorse.
… Y’know what? I bet whatever the team is tracking in the first pic ends up being the animal they’re riding in the second.
This is your daily reminder that I am a BIG lesbian who is in LOVE with Allura!
LIKE HELLO? THE PURPLE BODYSUIT? FLAWLESS. THE HAIR? CURLED AND FLOWING. HER EARS? POINTER THAN HER ARROWS, AND TWICE AS DEADLY. LEGOLAS SAW HER OUT OF THE CORNER OF HIS EYE AND IMMEDIATELY WENT HOME.
I love her.
But seriously, just LOOK at her. She woke up that morning and she decided that yes, actually, she IS going to be That Bitch™! She’s winning the award for best dressed, and she damn well knows it.
I’m also still not over that one curled bang like UGH. YES. And the purple theme she’s rocking?? The way they almost match her pastel glowing marks? Her arrow feathers???? Cupid lined up the shot at my heart, and Her aim was true!
Correct me if I’m wrong, but aren’t Allura’s eyes a bit bluer than normal??? Are these…. Fantasy Contacts™?
This is pure speculation, but in my opinion it looks like Allura’s character isn’t a princess. Her armory is fancy, but she lacks Allura’s usual “crown” (it’s not really a crown, but I can’t find the proper word for it lol). Which is interesting! And if true, would confirm some of my meta on Allura lol.
……….. I just realized that Hunk isn’t actually bald at the top of his head, but is instead wearing a green hat. And you know what? I’ll take the Rock Lee look over the monk bowl cut any day.
He still looks like Doctor Strange took a vacation in the Earth Kingdom, but y’know what? We still stan. I mean, the beard alone is absolutely legendary, so quite frankly? Hunk’s outfit may be weird as hell, but he still looks good. Case closed! Legends only!
Hunk’s collar is popped because he’s too busy mmmmmmmmmmblockin out the haters.
His belly button is glowing. Absolute legends only.
Also what the hell, Hunk’s sideburns look so good??? His Fantasy Barber™
is a god????? Like OOF, that cut? That fade? Can he please call his barber and ask them to fix Kuron’s hair?? Lol.
Hunk lookes like he’s playing as some kind of monk/sage class, which really tickles my fancy because Hunk as a defensive magic user is (Allura voice) absolutely divine. I mean, just look at that staff! He could either heal you or hurt you with that borderline club, let’s leave it at that.
The longer I stare at his beard the more unbelievable it gets. How did he cultivate such a majestic lock of hair? He has absolutely no facial except for this single 1″ by 1″ square. Hunk is incredibly powerful.
Voltron really wants me dead, huh. Like, they want to loot my wallet from my cold dead corpse and spend my last two dollars at Starbucks. That’s the only explanation for… this.
He looks like if Kaden from Fire Emblem Fates had a baby with Odd from Code Lyoko and that baby raided the closet of Mako from Legend of Korra.
If he has a tail, I will go full on nuclear winter, mark my fucking words.
If his ears so much as TWITCH I will really lose it I am not joking. Voltron has gone TOO FAR, and I will be the one to end it.
Okay I might be imagining things but in the picture on the left, it looks like Lance still has a right earlobe/right ear, so uh. What’s up with that. Does Lance just have four goddamn ears. Are his furry ears fake? Oh my god, is Lance faking being furry kin?
If he has claws tho, I can accept that because that’s cool as hell. I’ll also tolerate Lance having sharp canines, but only if he’s constantly biting his tongue lol.
Lance is wearing quite a bit of jewelry for someone whose clothes look like shit which begs the question of how… he has them.
If Voltron makes Lance’s dnd character a thief we riot.
Also his facial markings look like Krolia’s which is either a funny coincidence, OR the dnd episode takes place after Keith reunites with the team and introduces them to Krolia, and Lance’s markings are inspired by hers. Which is cute.
I honestly cannot tell if she’s wearing a furry cape or if that’s just her hair, but either way I’m loving it. You go, you fierce little warrior you!
I JUST NOTICED THAT HER SHOULDERS ARE AS BROAD/BROADER THAN HUNK’S NOW GHSKDGHDJGSDGDS
I mentioned this in a different post but I genuinely thought Pidge was going to be a rogue or some sort of magic user, so DPS/Tank Pidge has completely blindsided me and I’m loving every second of it.
Pidge doesn’t roleplay based on her actual self and personality. No, she’s creating Fantasy Pidge™ for a Fantasy World™ which means living out every wild dream she’s ever had!!! She’s chaotic neutral bitch and LOVING it.
She has a DOUBLE-BLADED AXE and it it’s not at least ¾ her size then what, pray tell, is the point. I want Pidge to heft her axe around like it’s nothing, and then when she puts it down it literally shakes the ground. That’s the ultimate power move.
Lance being a goddamn furry PROVES the existence of other Fantasy Races™
so fingers crossed that Pidge decides to play a dwarven character to explain why she’s so short ghdkjsghdkjs
Pidge looks so happy in the second pic. This really is the best day of her life.
(ZOOMS IN ON THE SECOND PICTURE) YO IS THAT A CROWN???? 👀👀
Okay but seriously, if Shiro’s character is a prince/king I will EXPLODE!!!! Let Shiro make a dnd character with an unnecessarily tragic and dramatic backstory!! Let Shiro roleplay as a prince on a mission to avenge his fallen kingdom and free his people!!!!!!!!!!!!!
That would also explain why Shiro is constantly wearing a black cloak and hiding his beautiful, perfect face. Because he’s on the run and has to stay undercover, bitch!
NGL, I’m a lesbian but I stared at the second picture of Shiro for a good ten seconds. Mostly because Shiro’s hair looks really, really good, and it’s a balm to my eyes after season 4 and 5.
Also, I just realized, his crown/coronet/WHATEVER is in the same place/represents his tuft of white hair! You can see this most clearly in the first pic :3c That’s so cute!
I’ll admit, I’m a little disappointed because at first, I thought Shiro was wielding a gigantic two-handed sword, which is absolutely badass and kickass. However, on closer examination I can see what looks to be a shield strapped to Shiro’s back (apparently over the cloak, which is weird lol), so Shiro most likely wields a so-called “one-handed” sword.
I won’t lie, for a hot second I thought Shiro might be wielding a club or something because I couldn’t see a sword hilt, but if you look at the left picture really closely, you can see what looks to be a black sword hilt. I did some googling, because swords are cool, and I’d guess Shiro’s sword is based off a knightly sword.
“you can’t have an asian elf. elves don’t have human races”
*puts my mouth on the mic* excuse me mr. big bad dungeon’s master but i think it’s gonna be hard for you to run this campaign when you’re too busy being a shitty little bitch
why are half the comments on this post “it’s fine i guess if you can make it fit with the lORE” like dear god are ppl of color just . not real to you weirdos we don’t need a “””reason to exist””” in fiction or reality
Anyone who says X cant be this skin color doesn’t understand how skin
color even works. People are not black because they’re “African”.
They’re black because their ancestors lived in a equatorial, arid region for ten thousand years and their bodies darkened to protect their
cellular structure from solar radiation.
People are tan because their ancestors either A) lived closer to the poles but still close enough to the equator to need darker skin tones or B) they lived on a coastline and fish was a huge part of their diet.
People are light because their ancestors lived very close to the poles and did not have a large seafood diet and needed lighter skin to absorb more sunlight so they can produce the essential Vitamin D.
That’s right. Your skin tone is because of an essential need for Vitamin D. The more sunlight you get, the darker your skin gets. The less, the lighter.
So an elf can be darker skinned because every world has a fucking sun and elves need Vitamin D too.
Unless you’re a drow and then you’re just a fucked up elf.
Alright so you check your ass and you find a small wedge of cheese.
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