honeybunash:

mulaney:

Anonymous: Did you ever go back to the Salt and Pepper diner?

at my show he told us about this!! and then he also said that he got arrested with the same friends he went to the salt and pepper diner with and they were all named john and the police officer had them all lined up on his car and he asked the first guys name and he said john and then he asked john mulaney and he said john and then the officer said “if you say your name is john youre all going to jail” and then he said his name is john and the officer lost his shit

kwehkwehmotherfucker:

morthils:

stillisee:

aro-as-in-straight-as-a:

thegoodjanet:

izzy-almighty:

hot take: jake peralta is bi and john mulaney plays his ex boyfriend from high school in season six of brooklyn nine-nine

john mulaney plays a rockin’ twink

John Mulaney: *to himself* What would Leonard Bernstein do?

Captain Holt: *to Jake, quietly* I support your and Amy’s relationship with my whole heart but why on earth would you give up a man like that

I don’t even go here (just like… my toes) and I want this, specifically with all these tages from @bosstoaster

#The episode would be Amy getting jealous not of John and Jake but that he has so many interests in common with Holt#So she spends the whole time trying to win back the Captain#Meanwhile Rosa is on a warpath at Jake#Because she told HIM about her sexuality and stuff and had EMOTIONS#And he didn’t tell HER#How DARE he

“look, it’s not like i hid anything, it just never came up!” 

“You called yourself out for ‘straighsplaining’“ 

the whole bi thing goes completely over charles’ head and he keeps getting really aggro like “oh you and jake were real close huh?? too bad, sucker jake is MY best friend!” 

everybody else is like “charles no” 

at the end john mulaney turns out to be the embezzler they’ve been looking for

But he gets away by throwing a silver money clip with a fifty dollar bill in it in the gutter

pomrania:

pharoahamunsadji:

mulaneysbutt:

lizatonix:

bobertlutece:

this whole thing is way too good to be giffed you need to expirience it 

There are so many things that are TOP quality about this. The business with the mic rope. The bounding across the stage like an excited puppy or a newsie. The Voice™️ that is so synonymous with John, you know, the voice of a guy who sells ice cream at the soda fountain in the 50’s. The analogy itself.

It’s all so beautiful, such peak humor and content.

Emmy Award Winning™️

I FOUND IT AGAIN.

Here’s the “horse loose in a hospital” bit. Good news, it has closed captioning.