Trans men who want kids are still men.
Trans men who get pregnant are still men
Trans men who try to get pregnant because they want children and their partner can’t carry are still men
Trans men who don’t discover that they’re men until after they already have kids are still men.
Wanting to or choosing to have kids doesn’t invalidate your gender.
Since telling my Mum that I considered myself ace, I already noticed that she was a bit… too interested, if you want to say it like that. Asking for “signs”, or how being ace feels like… I tried to answer her to the best of my ability, giving her links to websites that would explain better as I ever could.
Today she said, very quietly, “Do you think I could be ace, too?”
And I said very carefully “If you think it suits you, I don’t see why not”
And my Mum, my strong, self-confident Mum, who never once has ever felt uncomfortable in her own skin as far as I know, beamed in relief. Relief.
Because she never knew. Because getting married young and bearing children for her husband (meaning sex) was expected of her. Because everyone gave her the feeling as if something would be wrong or broken about her if she didn’t want, didn’t do that.
Because her whole life long, she thought there was something wrong with her.
I’m honestly torn between feeling happy and relieved for her, and angry that humanity has such trouble with showing some understanding to those who don’t fit in the boxes society has designed for all of us.
Update: My
Mum was getting ready for bed when I noticed her humming loudly around her
toothbrush and I asked her what the good mood was about.
She beamed
around a mouth-full of toothpaste and said, very proudly and deliberately, “I
think I like that, being ace.”
And continued
on with her brushing, humming a bit louder.
(Or in
other words, I’m more than a little bit teary eyed.)
I had almost the exact same conversation with my Mom. We were talking about the LGBT acronym and explained that it’s LGBTQ and that some people add the PIA at the end as well. And she asked me “What’s the a?” So when I explained it she said immediately “Me. That’s like me.”
This is why I get so mad at people who think this is all just trendy bs, people just don’t have the vocabulary or permission to describe their lived experience.
This is the most wholesome thing I’ve ever read, bless this post 🙌🏼
[In October] “New York became the first city in the nation to pass a law offering gender-neutral birth certificates. The new policy will go into effect on January 1, 2019, and calls for the creation of a third gender marker — X — in addition to the current options of M and F.
The new law also mandates that people be allowed to choose their gender marker when applying for amended birth certificates, replacing a previous requirement that applicants provide letters from medical and mental health practitioners confirming their gender identity.
“New Yorkers should be free to tell their government who they are, not the other way around,” New York City Mayor Bill DeBlasio said in a press release. “This new legislation will empower all New Yorkers — especially our transgender and gender nonbinary residents — to have birth certificates that better reflect their identity, and it furthers the City’s commitment to defending the rights of our LGBTQ community.”
Okay, so let’s get one thing out of the way now: this is not overnight. You’ll have to discipline yourself to do this for weeks until you get your desired result. After some time it will just come naturally.
STEP 1:
Stand against a wall or door with your feet together and heels touching the wall. Stand up STRAIGHT. If your posture is impotent, then this ain’t happening.
(if you can’t stand, sit as straight as you can)
STEP 2:
RELAX. Don’t tense up your whole body, especially not your shoulders. This is so easy to do.
STEP 3:
Press the back of your neck against the wall (it’s fine if it doesn’t actually touch, we’re just working the muscles)
STEP 4:
Start speaking for 10 minutes. Find a magazine, book, article or even recite a monologue if you know any. You’ll notice your voice is already dropping two octaves.
STEP 5:
DRINK!! WATER!!!! If you feel your throat scatching or at all painful, STOP!! Take a break! And drink water, no ice.
STEP 6:
After ten minutes (or however long you can do) lay down flat. Keep your body straight. Relax your whole body. Try a visualisation where you relax from your feet up into your head. Doing this will give your throats a chance to cool down (it’s still a muscle!!)
**Bonus Tips**
HONEY – it coats your throats and protects it from damage. Use it before and/or after this exercise.
HOT TEA – I suggest ginger, but you can really pick whatever kind you want. As long it’s not coffee.
WATER!!!!
A CORK – if you’re wanting to go the extra mile, put a cork in your mouth and speak. This helps enunciation and can really help.
DON’T FORCE – if you force your voice to sound low it will sound very artificial
BE PATIENT – It’s gonna take time! Take it as a challenge.
I have tried humming while moving my head, singing to Panic! At The Disco and literally EVERY other thing to lower my voice and this is the only thing that has worked.
if you wanna call yourself pansexual, thats fine. youre allowed to self identify any way you want to. but im sooo fucking sick of seeing pansexuals shit on bisexual people and use that “hearts not parts” bullshit to vilify and demonize bisexual people or insinuate that bisexuality is transphobic when bisexuality has literally always included transgender people. be pansexual, thats fine, just dont be fucking biphobic
I think what i hate the most about how current gay rights activism is based off of how gay people just need to accept themselves, but often thats not the problem. I’ve known for a long time that I was gay, since like elementary. The problem was for me and still is, how straight people have always socially marginalized me for being gay since I knew what gay was. Ive been abused, traumatized, assaulted, mocked, bullied, and isolated for being gay my entire life. The problem never was I simply hate myself for being gay, the problem is everyone ELSE has a problem with it. Every issue I have being gay comes not from myself, but rather the world around me that makes me feel certain ways. That narrative of “accepting yourself” is such bullshit because while self acceptance is vital for everyone, it places the burden of gay people’s lives on themselves and not the world around them for being violently homophobic to them. And unless that changes, no amount of self acceptance can save you from the violence you will face for the rest of your life for being gay.
TERFS DO NOT INTERACT THIS POST WAS MADE BY AN EVIL TRA
The thing that bothers me about trans representation is that there are no “casual” trans people in the media. Every trans character is written into a trans story—centered on their transition, about transphobia, coming to terms with their identity and coming out, etc. And I love these stories, I do, because they show an aspect of my life that’s extremely important to me. But you never see trans characters in media that’s not about them being trans. You don’t see a casual romcom where one of the main couples is a trans couple, you don’t see a lesbian romance where one of the girls is trans, you don’t see an action adventure where the guy doing all the backflips and car chases is a trans guy. You don’t see trans actors playing characters that could be/were written cis. Cis people have all this dimension, whereas trans people are just trans. But we are so multi-faceted. We could be the superhero or the princess or the friend who always says the right things or the leader of a post-apocalyptic gang. Trans people are trans in everything we do, not just when we’re doing Trans Things™ and it’s time that we actually see that.
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