I wanna tell you guys a story,

Not too long ago, my friend Bella came out as aromantic to me, and now I’ve got some things to say.

I was the one who told her what aromantic means, because I was explaining different sexual orientations to her. I remember saying, “Asexualiy is when you have romantic attraction, but no sexual attraction.”

Bella immedently, without missing a beat, asked, “Is there an opposite to that?”

I asked what she meant, and she asked if there was a term for sexual attraction but no romantic attraction. I told her about aromantics. She got weirdly quiet, then excused herself.

Not two weeks later I was heading to my boat. I was supposed to meet Bella and another one of our muteral friends there for a day of fishing.

As soon as I was in earshot, I saw Bella storming off the boat, and our other friend standing there like an idiot. Boi had no idea what was happening.

Anyway, Bella isn’t looking where she’s going and walks smack dab into me. That’s when I realized she was crying. Puffy red eyes, wet cheeks, the whole nine yards… And if you know anything about Bells, she does not cry. Ever.

She’s been through some serious crap in her life, and she does not cry. She’s tough as nails. Bella has a steel core. She does not not cry. I’ve seen her fall off a roof and break her arm before, not a single tear. I can’t stress this enough, Bella. Doesn’t. Cry.

So seeing her in tears shook me. I took her by the shoulders and escorted her somewhere more private where we could talk. We ended up in the women’s restroom, which was weird as fuck for me, because haven’t been in a woman’s rest room for years. Luckily it was empty, and I’m realistic, I know I don’t pass so well, so I don’t think anyone would have said anything anyway.

Before I can even ask her what’s wrong she hugs me around my middle and burys her face in my hoodie. Then, in a voice I can only describe as traumatized, she says, “I think I’m broken.”

I’ve never seen her in so much pain, and Bella and I are CLOSE. She’s one of my dearest friends. She’s like my little sister, but if she’s like my sister, our other muteral friend is like her twin. He and Bella have know each other WAY longer, they’re practically inseparable. They come as a pair. They’re a duo. They’re a package deal.

Appearently, said muteral friend asked Bella out and forcefully kissed her. She shoved him off, and told him she’s aromantic, which she only recently figured out. She wasn’t ready to be out, but this muteral friend left her no choice. She tried telling him no, and he didn’t listen. Bella saw no other option.

Quote on quote, this is what he said to Bella. “That’s okay. You just haven’t dated me yet. We’ve been like, unofficially together for years. You’re probably just freaked out that it’s finally going somewhere.”

After that I’m not 100% clear on what happened, but apparently Bella kept saying no Nd trying to explain herself, but he kept insisting he could ‘fix her.’

Eventudally she started crying and stormed away. That’s when I found her.

Keep in mind, this was her first experience coming out, and her best, closest friend insisted he could fix her and forcefully kissed her. I found out later he also implied corrective rape would ‘solve the problem.’

Bella was traumatized. She’s still traumatized. I tried to make her feel better by buying her an aro pride shirt, and taking her go a local LGBTQ+ hang out. I wanted her to be around like minded people, so she could see she wasn’t broken, and her identity deserved to be respected.

Instead of a warm, welcoming environment… The first thing someone said to her was, “This place is for REAL lgbt people. You don’t belong here.” He also implied she wasn’t human.

Just think about that for a minute. Her first experiences with being an out aromantic have been limited to;

A person she trusted more than anyone forcing himself upon her, claiming she was ill, and needed to be fixed. (Raped.)

Sobbing in my arms in the women’s restroom because she thought she was broken and defective.

Being told she wasn’t welcomed in LGBTQ+ spaces and called inhuman.

This isn’t what I want for her. Bella deserves better than this. She needs a support system, not all this crap. I’ve spent the past week trying to undo all the damage exclusionists, arophobes, and people she trusted did.

Aromantics and asexuals belong in the LGBTQ+ community. You literally cannot change my mind.

Nonbinary lesbians don’t have to prove their identity to you. They don’t have to let you misgender them. They don’t have to go by she/her or be super feminine. Their gender expression and their gender isn’t your business at all.

october-rosehip:

love-geofffree:

cutehaywood:

the straights are at it again

Reblog if you are a greedy gay hoarding refracted light all for your greedy gay self

I totally am, but also: I have a story. The time: 1995. The place: a small liberal arts college. We decided to participate in “denim day” which was a widespread event wherein on National Coming Out Day, you would wear denim to indicate SUPPORT FOR the LGBT community. Our support group made posters that were very, very clear about this. Wearing denim did not mean that you were coming out, it meant you supported anyone around you who might.

I have never seen so many suits and khakis IN MY LIFE. People who accidentally wore jeans went home and changed.

The community took it as a rebuke. We drew in closer to eachother, and felt unwelcome everywhere we thought we had friends before.

And I had people later tell me “You know I support you, just… I didn’t want anyone to think I was.” First off, I DON’T know you support me. Not if you refuse to, for one day, change nothing about your life to show it. Second off… why is that such a terrifying thought to you?

I remember before rainbows were a “gay thing”. They were everywhere. Church walls next to arks. School walls next to sunshine faces. People have VOLUNTARILY abandoned every other use. I have HEARD PEOPLE SAY they just couldn’t use rainbows anymore because people would think of “gay stuff.”

So I know this is a joke, and a stolen one at that, but you’ve done this to yourselves. If someone is so terrified of being perceived as queer that they will INSTANTLY abandon something they like if it has queer germs on it now or something, then they don’t deserve refracted light.

Maybe help us change the world into a place where being mistaken for queer would be just a thing to chuckle about and you can have refracted light back.

The LGBTQ+ community didn’t steal the rainbow. The straights abandoned it.

realtransfacts:

Fact #853: All corvids support trans people.

“Is it normal?” The binding edition

smolgayboy:

transgenderteensurvivalguide:

Yes:

Getting winded after walking quickly/upstairs with binder on, but able to catch breath

Chafing in the underarm areas

Soreness (during or after) in arms, shoulders, or back

Increased acne on chest or back

Mild anxiety about tightness

Chest sagging

No, take it off and rest, see a doctor if problem gets worse or doesn’t go away after taking the binder off (or after one week):

Nausea during or after binding, including nausea caused by pain

Bruising

Out of breath/can’t catch breath when not wearing binder

Skin rash

Sharp pains in ribs

Not able to cough or sneeze

Numbness in arms

Feeling too tired/sore to do everyday activities

Suddenly having any of the above symptoms even if you’ve been binding for years

No, see a doctor ASAP, could be a sign of serious injury:

Anything from the above category if you can just tell/feel something is wrong, better safe than sorry

Extreme claustrophobia/panic attacks

Sharp pain in chest/heart skipping beats or beating very fast

Not able to breathe

Dizziness

Blueness in lips or fingertips

Change in shape of ribcage

Fainting

good stuff to know if you wear a binder, especially if you’re new to it. this is way more informative than the basic “don’t wear it for more than 8 hours uwu!!!111!!” – although that is also good advice. sometimes the time you keep it on will vary because of your schedule, and you don’t have to panic if that’s the case. just pay attention your body, know what’s safe, and crack your poor back as often as you can.

fragilelittleteacup:

some positivity for y’all!!!!

tenderlesbian:

also to expand on what i was talking about earlier, straight people get annoyed when gay people “talk about being gay so much” because they fail to realize that we aren’t just talking about how much we like to fuck or w/e like. it’s about being apart of a community with culture, one that has rich history that we can find meaning and support from that doesn’t exist in the wider world. straight people don’t get how rich and rewarding our identities are and they don’t get that it took a long time for most of us to accept ourselves. they literally do not understand any of that and don’t want to.

when it comes to being straight, there is no history or culture behind that, it usually is all about romance and/or sex to them, its almost like they literally forget that we have a huge culture and history.

so that leads to them taking “i love being gay” as “oh you’re shoving the fact that you like to fuck other women in my face i get it shut up” when its like?? not about that at all?

i mean even if it was, it would STILL be different than straight people talking about sex, because gay people have been demonized for having gay sex for decades, but thats beside the point. i’m just. tired of straight people saying this

whitepeopletwitter:

penetrating gays