Griffin: Uh, this message is for Sunflower Station and it’s from…Sunflower Station. Who says, aw man, [deep breath] Hewwo? Hewwo, Mcewwoys?
I realized a while ago that these messages on their show cost 100 dollars. Someone payed 100 dollars to hear Griffin McElroy say hewwo and that person is so fucking valid
-“I GAVE YOU LIFE!” / “yeah you gave me life apparently Mom gave me D&D skills!”
-when Justin is annoyed and calls his dad “Clinton.”
-“I went to all of Travis’s wrestling matches and watched him lose every time except the ONE time I didn’t go he beat a kid with the flu.”
-when they make fun of Griffin for not being able to sleep unless he builds a pillow fort.
-“you’re my brother and I love you but [string of insults].”
-when the brothers call Clint “daddy.”
-when Justin or Travis calls Griffin “Griffy.”
-when Justin or Travis calls Griffin “Ditto.”
-“wow that’s really low!” / “is it?! is it, Griffin?! is it almost like some fucking liches of your imagination sucked the life out of me a wizard?!” / “yeah that’s like real low!”
-when Justin has Taako do some gamebreaking shit and Griffin is like “oh my God, Justiiiiiiiin!”
-*Griffin does something sinister as a DM* “I forgot ONE birthday, Griffin!”
-*Clint does something childish* “hey are we sure we’re not Dad’s dad?”
-“hey Dad, remember every Christmas when we sat around the tree near the fire, singing songs of yule and basking in each other’s love?” / “no.” / “okay I’m gonna try that again and this time you say yes to my fucking bit.”
-when Merle spins “Mind” on the wheel and the vogue elves say “if you choose to take this sacrifice, you will lose the memory of… the birth of your children” and without missing a fucking beat Clint goes “I’ll take the penalty.”
-*after the boys finish a fight in the swamp* Griffin: “Dad you look like some sort of weird shit monster-” Justin: “and your character in this game looks pretty bad too.”
-Clint, sincerely: “Travis you aren’t mad at me for not going along with your decision in the game, right?” Travis, also sincerely “Dad, I could not give two shits.”
what continuously amazes me about the mcelroys is that justin looks like a gay elf, and travis looks like a portland barista who takes regular business trips to narnia. they both look like weird, cool, funny guys. but then griffin looks like if you hit ‘random’ on a character generator for a game exclusively about tax accountants. he looks like he was born with a polo shirt on. he looks like both his first and last names are jeff. he looks like he organizes socks for fun, and then he opens his mouth and says something funny enough that you rupture all your internal organs laughing about it. it’s incredible.
i just want to say that the first time i saw griffin in the wwe monster factory video (i think), i was floored. i couldn’t believe my eyes. he was exactly like op says and i was not prepared for that at all and i was unable to process anything for days
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