Reasons why I need the A in LGBTIAQ to stand for Asexual, not Ally

theomachomai:

left-hand-path-notes:

skitterbot:

defira85:

Because my mother told me that all I needed to do was get drunk and lie back and let my husband have his fun. Because if I was drunk, I’d be more relaxed and it’d be over sooner

Because my sister told me that I was trapping my husband in an abusive marriage, and that one day he was going to leave me

Because both of them looked at me in disgust

Because my asexuality is considered to be as great a crime against my husband as a woman who has affairs and cheats on her husband

Because my cousin didn’t even try to understand, and just kept asking ‘but what about in five years? how will you feel then?’

Because I was so afraid of my body and so afraid of sex that I didn’t seek medical help for a legitimate question for over a year for fear of being labelled a deviant or something broken

Because I still ask myself at least once every day if my husband wouldn’t be better off without me

Because I still ask myself at least once every day if I’m broken

Because I still tell myself at least once every day that I’m pathetic and useless and an abnormality

Because I love my husband with every fiber of my being, but everywhere I turn I’m told I really don’t, because love = sex

I need A to stand for Asexual because nobody ever talked to me about asexuality even when I was an outpatient at the women’s hospital for 18 months, and everyone told me desire would come in time

I need A to stand for Asexual because we are literally invisible, and so unimportant that people assume we don’t even need representation, because everyone assumes our lives must be bland and unimportant and lacking in challenges or bigotry

For every asexual that wants a relationship, for every asexual that does not want a relationship, for every asexual who has not yet come to terms with their identity, for every asexual who was told we were abnormalities, for every asexual who was told we just weren’t doing sex right, that we needed a good fucking, that we needed to be drunk, that we needed to relax, that we needed to be raped

We need representation, and we need visibility

That is why the A needs to stand for Asexual, and never for Ally

Fucking Important Post.

Just so we’re fucking clear, this blog is inclusionist. If that’s a prob, gtfo.

People don’t understand the enormous and insidious pressure aces are under to just give in and pretend you like it already. This at an individual and institutional level- look at the way psychologists treat people who don’t want sex, whether they are ace or not. Conversion therapy for aces is so normalized that people don’t even notice it exists.

kvroii:

brujawentz:

stallingdemons:

bizzle-my-bieber:

tateanaau:

bishwhaaapapij:

kingomd:

suckmymichaelconda:

Honestly the most important video I’ve ever seen…

this should be on everyones blog

NEVER EVER LET THIS HAPPEN TO ANY ONE WOMEN OR MEN NOBODY DESERVES THIS.

important shit 

This needs to be Reblogged by everyone 🙌🏽

REBLOG THIS. 

HOLY SHIT, NEVER STOP REBLOGGING THIS.

witches care about other witches! reblog!

This is important, and I’m glad to see Ontario made this! They said something that REALLY needs to be said. 

I know it’s deterring for a lot of people (myself included) to see reblogs saying that everyone needs to reblog it, but I suggest at least watching it before you scroll past. 

wolf-of-wakanda:

helloautumnleaf:

kathereal:

soshae:

libertarirynn:

Preach it Ashley.

THIS HERE!!!!!!!!!!!!!

COME THRU ASHLEY!

Thank you. Because a rapist automatically is titled “he”…..women objectify men’s bodies and then try to say “well they do the same to us!” When you call them out on it. Stop supporting self-contradicting feminism and support moral sexuality of all humans

notice how little notes this has.

homo-sex-shoe-whale:

Long but important post. Please share!

I know Tumblr tends to be very US-centric, but there is something happening in my country that I absolutely have to share.

Soon, Brazil will host presidential elections. These are the first elections since the impeachment of our last president Dilma Rouseff.

The leading candidate is currently Jair Bolsonaro. Bolsonaro is a man who has made racist, sexist, and homophobic claims such as, “I would rather my son die in a car accident than be gay,” and, “my sons would not date black women as they were well educated.” He even said to a woman that she was, “so ugly” that she, “didn’t even deserve to get raped.”

A few decades ago, when Brazil was under a military dictatorship, the government tortured many people for speaking out against the regime. Bolsonaro has said that, “their only mistake was not killing those people.”

However, something incredible has been happening.

A movement called Mulheres Unidas Contra Bolsonaro (Women United Against Bolsonaro) has been surfacing. The hashtag #EleNão (#NotHim) has been getting popular and gaining international attention.

Yesterday, women all over Brazil (and the world!) protested against Bolsonaro.

Here are some pictures.

São Paulo, Brazil:

Rio de Janeiro, Brazil:

Ilhéus, Brazil:

Cuiabá, Brazil:

Porto Alegre, Brazil:

Brazilians living abroad also joined the protests!

Zurich, Switzerland:

Madrid, Spain:

Melbourne, Australia:

New York City, US:

Protests occurred in over 62 cities around the world.

Even if you’re not Brazilian, please share this post! Show your support and raise awareness of the movement!

trenchkamen:

gneebee:

tilthat:

TIL that prostitution was widely legal in the United States up until the early 1900’s, when the Woman’s Christian Temperance Union lobbied against it. This was the same union that was a driving force behind Prohibition in the 1920’s.

via reddit.com

Those chicks hated working women and good times

I do not know if this was just a pithy
response, but responses like this pissed me off so much I thought I was going
to start spitting blood when this Reddit thread first came around a few years
back, and every time this issue comes back. I tried to go to sleep.
But this kept running through my head, so here we are.

And this is addressed to all the redditors
with the hot take that these women were, indeed, just fun-hating, jealous prudes:

You really have no theory of mind when it
comes to women. You think they are just reactionary, shrieking, brainless, pearl-clutching
harpies who hate fun and are only ~jealous~ of their husbands going to
prostitutes. Marital rape was an oxymoron and the husband was within his legal
and physical bounds to do whatever he wanted, whenever he wanted, to his wife
and children. The women had no rights to property, to keep their own wages, to
hold a bank account, and there were few jobs for women other than domestic and
prostitute. Schoolteachers and nurses, aside from requiring education working
class women could not access, were paid a pittance, and in the former case were
required to be unmarried in many places. So the husband was well within his
rights to drink his family wages and leave his wife and children to starve in a
slum tenement, and beat them when they complained. Divorce was no practical
option, especially with children. The entire economic system was, and always
was, set up so that women could not survive on their own, to force them into
providing sexual access and domestic labor to men in exchange for sustenance. 

This was the era before antibiotics. Condoms were
of poor quality and rarely used. (As if they could force their men to wear them in the first place; it would be a dreadful inconvenience for their poor dicks.) There was no cure for STDs like syphilis. These
STDs were not only ultimately fatal, in many cases, but caused untold misery the
whole way, and birth defects. And who is caring for the disabled child on top
of her other children? The woman. (Oh, and banish the thought of a safe abortion, or a way for the woman to control her fertility. She was constantly bred because the husband either wanted those children or wanted sex and there was no effective birth control.) The husband would carry STDs from the
whorehouses and give them to their wives. Stopping their husbands from
frequenting prostitutes was not merely an issue of jealousy—it was a matter of
existential survival for these women. Or a way of preventing themselves from becoming
penniless widows. And they knew that most of the prostitutes were not ~independent
working women~ in that era but exploited women, the worst thing you could
become. What awaited you if you stepped out of line. They thought making
prostitution illegal would liberate these poor creatures.

What were women to do? Speak about their sovereign rights? To
speak plainly about the remedies—economic sovereignty, sexual freedom, the
right to divorce and custody and education and standing—would get them laughed
at by men already pissed they had just gotten the vote. So they had to focus on
proximate causes: get rid of the alcohol, get rid of the whorehouses. A paltry,
palliative measure, but what else could they do? They had to dress their
concerns in the raiment of religion, one of the few acceptable fields women
were allowed. Women were tasked the stabilizing force in society, the ones to
marry off unstable, angry young men, absorb their violence, ‘settle’ them and
force them to work a job, and produce the next generation of labor. And with
that came their tasking to be the civilizing force, at that time inextricable
with Christian morality. But there was a material reason behind their proselytizing—there
always is, if you look closely enough, behind *anybody’s*. Sure, there were holy-roller
true believers, but I bet the majority of women (and I must so bet, as history
has seen to it their voices are lost) just wanted the beatings to end and food
on the table, and relative safety from debilitating disease. I bet this because
I see women as rational agents. Humans in an impossible situation, with no
voice, living with their captors.

The factory jobs available to men were miserable, back-breaking
labor, and hardly paid. This was the tail end of the era of radical labor
rights movements, but there was a lot of misery, and those movements were eventually
shut down, especially with the economic desperation of the depression. As it
leads to drug use now in desperate, hollowed-out, post-industrial communities,
so it led to drinking then. And disenfranchised groups have always found a
group even lower on the social ladder than themselves to take out their anger. Women
were always the punching bag and social safety valve. And a drunk, drugged population
is not in much position to organize politically. There were few diversions – no
television, no sports games, no entertainments – to mollify the working classes
after their drudgery, so the bar was an incredibly attractive option. Oblivion
was preferable to going back to the slums with screaming children underfoot in
a filthy, tiny shack and a pissed off wife. Her anger may have been justified,
but in the guy’s mind, she was just the shrew waiting to make his day worse.
And, to those guys with a shred of decency, there was the shame in being
reminded of how poorly his wages kept his family, how desperate and pointless
the struggle, how they were running to stay in the same desperate place with no
hope of advancement. Ashamed, depressed men lash out, even against those who
they feel they have wronged.

The dispossessed men take it out on their women. This
always, always, always happens.

Prohibition did not work. We know that now, with the power
of hindsight. And the social fabric is utterly different, now: while women are by
no means liberated, they can hold property, they can keep their own wages and
assets, they have rights to their children, they can obtain education and jobs.
Divorce from an alcoholic husband without landing in the gutter is a
possibility. But to advance the narrative that prohibition was started by a
bunch of fuddy-duddy no-fun busy-bodies who hated the idea of anybody having a
good time is monstrous and shows only your contempt for women. You cannot know
the fear and desperation of being trapped with a violent, alcoholic husband,
several children, pregnant every year from marriage to menopause, and listening
to your children crying with hunger while waiting for your husband to come back
from the bar. And then you must approach him and ask for money. And you have
nowhere to run. I wager you have never had to bury your own children dead of starvation and the diseases of poverty. There was nowhere for them to turn without you – orphanages a joke, these masses of children from these women who had no power to control their own fertility seen as labor at best and excess humanity, vermin, by most of society. And their alcoholic father would leave them to die while he drinks himself to death. So it’s you or nobody. 

What do you do? The possibilities on the outside for you, a fallen, divorced
women, would be prostitution or penury. But you have one bit of power, now – you can vote. And women as a class share your interests. You would be shut down campaigning for full human rights, but if you dress your concerns up in religion, there is a chance. 

Of course, a hundred years in the future, men will use this as an example of how as soon as women are able to vote, they ruin everything. 

Andrea Dworkin’s Right-Wing
Women
is a brilliant and deeply-researched work on the phenomenon of the religious,
conservative woman, and addresses why women are often the enforcers and lieutenants
of religious morality and social conservatism, when it benefits them least. It
is not because they are small-minded cunts with small spirits, any more than
men on the average. There is a material and strategic reason, and the
temperance movement is a perfect example of this. They are making a bargain
within the confines of the tiny shred of power they are given.

And ask, always, before you condemn a group of women as a
bunch of no-fun brainless shrieking reactionaries because they want to take
away your toys: what material, rational reason might here be? Give them at
least the dignity of being considered rational agents before you condemn.

tema-time:

plunderpuss:

tallulah99:

datiek:

popping-smoke:

mbisthegame:

oparnoshoshoi:

anarchyandacupofcoffee:

OK Highway Patrol Captain George Brown says the best “tip” for women to not get raped by a cop is to “follow the law in the first place so you don’t get pulled over.”
http://youtu.be/BO8g8akPWcY (Last third of the video).

Three serial rapists in 3 weeks arrested in Oklahoma, all cops.

Follow for Anarchy | Follow for Feminism

Pro tip: if you’re signaled to pull over (whether you’re male or female) and you’re in a place that has no witnesses, turn your hazard lights on to acknowledge the officer’s siren, and drive to the nearest gas station or populated area. This is accepted protocol by every agency. You are not obligated pull over until you can do so safely. This includes personal safety. Understand your rights, brothers and sisters. There are disgusting examples of authority in this world.

HAZARD LIGHTS ARE NOT AN ACCEPTABLE ACKNOWLEDGEMENT. IT IS NOT ACCEPTED PROTOCOL BY EVERY AGENCY. DO NOT JUST CONTINUE DRIVING WITH YOUR HAZARD LIGHTS IN CASE THE COP MIGHT THINK IT’S A LOW-SPEED CHASE.

I know that sounds dumb, but hear me out. My mother is a dispatcher for the local police station. I asked her about how to pull over for a cop and even brought up the use of hazard lights, and she told me that it is not always accepted. This is what she told me you can do in order to feel safe when pulling over:

Call the police. No, really. Call and tell the dispatcher where you are and that there is a cop behind you demanding you pull over. The dispatcher can and will stay on the line with you while they look up the area you’re in to see if it’s one of their station’s cops. Then, once the cop comes to your window, you can crack it open (it only has to be an inch!) while still on the phone with the dispatcher. This is definitely, 100% accepted protocol.

The dispatcher will verify that it is their own, real cop, and they will gladly stay on the line with you throughout your interaction with the officer. And God forbid this ever happens to any of you, but if something were to happen to you during this time, you’ve already contacted 911 and given your location to the dispatcher.

Please keep this in mind if you are ever requested to pull over and do not feel safe. The dispatcher will understand. Do not, however, continue to drive, because there might be the off-chance an officer will think you’re flat-out refusing to pull over (a well-lit, populated area might be a ways away).

Stay safe.

Signal boost.

Because I personally know some creepy ass mother fuckers who became cops because they’re demented psychopaths and they get off on having control over people.

In light of current bullshit, this might be a good idea for a LOT of people, not just women. Marginalized minorities of all stripes, take note. I hate taking up an emergency dispatcher’s resources, but i also hate seeing yet another fucked up news story about police harming citizens.

THIIIIS

forestlover:

keyholeslumber:

modestinferno:

circumlocute:

Books that people read romantically but shouldn’t because they’re missing the point:

  1. Lolita by Vladimir Nabokov
  2. Romeo and Juliet by William Shakespeare
  3. The Great Gatsby by F. Scott Fitzgerald

That’s your opinion.

there’s nothing romantic about a pedophile rapist, the senseless murder-suicide of teenagers because families can’t get their shit together or the hypocrisy of the roaring 20s

FINALLY SOMEONE SAYS IT