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They’re gullible or misinformed. Example: somebody who has been told the heroes are out to hurt them.
They are desperate for interaction, validation, kindness, or attention, and the dark side gives them those things.
They want to change their allegiance, but are pressured by people close to them to stay evil.
They have an otherwise noble goal that they will do literally anything to achieve. Example: somebody who wants to protect their child, even if it means throwing other children into danger.
wear a different perfume when you commit murder fuckin amateurs
also wear shoes that aren’t your actual size and use gloves if you have to touch anything
what the hell is this here? A how-to-commit-the-perfect-crime??
Wear a wig. Contact lenses . Change your accent . Change Hand when writing . Layer up to make you look big if your small n vice versa . Contour the hell outta your face.
Get your car interior thoroughly washed, then purposely dirty it up again.
Also use an icicle for the weapon because it melts away Buy a ticket to a show and tell as many people / post it on social media that u went to the show
Y’all suspect af😂
*adds 363,462 more people to list of that I will fuck never with*
Make sure you set up a solid alibi Pay for everything in cash
Or, for those of you who’ve read Roald Dahl’s Lamb to the Slaughter, feed the murder weapon to the police
Bodies should be buried vertically, not horizontally, to avoid the appearance of a grave. If you choose to dismember the body instead of bury it whole don’t forget to take a lighter or bottle of lye to the fingertips until charred or melted away, and use bleach on every surface that may have come in contact with blood splatter.
Also, don’t fucking brag about it later Jesus wept.
all this info is good for writing
but for actual real life, no one on tumblr has enough energy to get out of bed
ain’t no body on this website is gonna murder anyone
Make friends with a pig farmer. A full grown nursing sow can eat an entire human body, bones and all, in about 6 hours.
Shit that last one is more helpful than I wanted it to be, I’ll never look at pigs the same
Reblogging for *educational* purposes 🙂
This post is legendary and I’m so glad I found it. I love all the advice. Except the icicle. That’s technically impossible. Use a disposable knife instead and break the handle.
use a glass knife with wooden handle for ultimate wounding. its gonna leave a severe fucking wound and u can burn the wood and melt down the glass if it doesnt shatter inside the victim.
Thomas what did i tell you about making suspiious posts?
File this under “super obvious yet I always seem to forget it.”
I don’t write romance (I totally respect people who do, though!) but this is also great writing advice in general! What is preventing the protagonist from achieving their goal?
Why can’t these two people be together now?
Why can’t the mystery be solved now?
Why can’t they overthrow the evil overlord now?
If you don’t have a solid answer for these questions, that’s a good indicator that the plot could use some more work.
Also test your answer a little bit. If it’s as thin as they’re just refusing to sit down and have a simple conversation, you might want to re-think how things are going.
As a beta reader/editor, I tend to ask this question a lot: “Why are they doing it this way when there’s a much easier path available?” That’s not to say that they should take the easier path, because that would usually be boring. Instead, the point is that the question needs an answer–either eliminate the easier path or give them a very clear reason for not taking it. (And if I’m asking the question, that reason isn’t as clear as you think it might be.)
I find it very difficult to root for characters who have a sensible option available and just don’t take it. If the only reason is “Because there wouldn’t be a story otherwise,” you haven’t actually found the story yet.
And this is why the Big Misunderstanding as a primary plot device is almost universally disliked.
adenoidal (adj): if someone’s voice is adenoidal, some of the sound seems to come through their nose
appealing (adj): an appealing look/voice shows that you want help, approval, or agreement
breathy (adj): with loud breathing noises
brittle (adj): if you speak in a brittle voice, you sound as if you are about to cry
croaky (adj): if someone’s voice sounds croaky, they speak in a low, rough voice that sounds as if they have a sore throat
dead (adj): if someone’s eyes or voice are dead, they feel or show no emotion
disembodied (adj): a disembodied voice comes from someone who you cannot see
flat (adj): spoken in a voice that does not go up and down; this word is often used for describing the speech of people from a particular region
fruity (adj): a fruity voice or laugh is deep and strong in a pleasant way
grating (adj): a grating voice, laugh, or sound is unpleasant and annoying
gravelly (adj): a gravelly voice sounds low and rough
gruff (adj): this voice has a rough, low sound
guttural (adj): a guttural sound is deep and made at the back of your throat
high-pitched (adj): true to its name, a high-pitched voice or sound is very high
hoarse (adj): someone who is hoarse, or has a hoarse voice, speaks in a low, rough voice, usually because their throat is sore
honeyed (adj): honeyed words or a honeyed voice sound very nice, but you cannot trust the person who is speaking
husky (adj): a husky voice is deep and sounds hoarse (as if you have a sore throat), often in an attractive way
low (adj): a low voice is quiet and difficult to hear; also used for describing a deep voice that has a long wavelength
matter-of-fact (adj): usually used if the person speaking knows what they are talking about (or absolutely think they know what they are talking about)
modulated (adj): a modulated voice is controlled and pleasant to listen to
monotonous (adj): this kind of voice is boring and unpleasant due to the fact that it does not change in loudness or become higher/lower
nasal (adj): someone with a nasal voice sounds as if they are speaking through their nose
orotund (adj): an orotund voice is loud and clear
penetrating (adj): a penetrating voice is so high or loud that it makes you slightly uncomfortable
plummy (adj): a plummy voice or way of speaking is considered to be typical of an English person of a high social class; this word shows that you dislike people who speak like this
quietly (adj): in a soft, quiet voice
raucous (adj): a raucous voice or noise is loud and sounds rough
ringing (adj): a ringing voice is very loud and clear
rough (adj): a rough voice is not soft and is unpleasant to listen to
shrill (adj): a shrill voice is very loud, high, and unpleasant
silvery (adj): this voice is clear, light, and pleasant
singsong (adj): if you speak in a singsong voice, your voice rises and falls in a musical way
small (adj): a small voice is quiet
smoky (adj): a smoky voice is sexually attractive in a slightly mysterious way
softly spoken (adj): someone who is softly spoken has a quiet, gentle voice
soft-spoken (adj): speaking or said in a quiet, gentle voice
sotto voce (adj, adv): in a very quiet voice
stentorian (adj): a stentorian voice sounds very loud and severe
strangled (adj): a strangled sound is one that someone stops before they finish making it
strident (adj): this voice is loud and unpleasant
taut (adj): used about something such as a voice that shows someone is nervous or angry
thick (adj): if your voice is thick with an emotion, it sounds less clear than usual because of the emotion
thickly (adv): with a low voice that comes mostly from your throat
thin (adj): a thin voice or sound is high and unpleasant to listen to
throaty (adj): a throaty sound is low and seems to come from deep in your throat
tight (adj): shows that you are nervous or annoyed
toneless (adj): does not express any emotion
tremulous (adj): if your voice is tremulous, it is not steady; for example, because you are afraid or excited
wheezy (adj): a wheezy noise sounds as if it is made by someone who has difficulty breathing
wobbly (adj): if your voice is wobbly, it goes up and down, usually because you are frightened, not confident, or are going to cry
booming (adj): very loud and attention-getting
quavering (adv): if your voice quavers, it is not steady because you are feeling nervous or afraid
a voice like a foghorn: very loud voice
in an undertone: using a quiet voice so that someone cannot hear you
someone’s dulcet tones: the sound of someone’s voice as they speak
A Nonny asked for how to describe voices and I found this so here you go!
Never delete. Never read what you’ve already written. Pass Go, collect your $200, and keep going.
This is the literal best writing advice I have ever read. Period.
Special note: “Kill someone” means kill someone in the story. Please do not kill random real life passers by every time you hit a block. My lawyer says misunderstanding writing advice is not an acceptable defense. See you all in 25 to 50 years.
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