being a DM in dnd like

brotheralyosha:

esmiedo:

esmiedo:

@helpicantthinkofaurl

I apologize for lashing out. One of my players threw themselves in acid after they were fully aware it was in fact acid. I did not and still do not know how to deal with that. 

In the very first D&D game that I ever played, our party was standing right outside the entrance to a dungeon. Part of the area was covered in a red energy field. Inside the red energy field, all of the grass was dead, and right on the border between the area inside the energy field and outside of it, there was a collection of dead animals, insects, and other forest creatures. As we watched, a little bunny came hopping up, hopped into the red energy field, and, the moment that it entered the field, instantly dropped dead.

Guess what one of our players decided to do next. Take a wild fuckin guess.

my sense of humor:

ironinkpen:

  • suggesting “kill them” as punishment for an extremely disproportionate crime  (”he stole my eraser” “kill him”)
  • staring at an object that has fallen over for a prolonged amount of time and with inordinate disappointment
  • *points at a garbage can* “that’s me”
  • zooming really far into someone’s face on snapchat
  • *something minorly inconveniencing happens* “@god what did I ever do to you”
  • “what are you doing” “my best”
  • shortening words that are already shorter versions of other words (ex: thank, congrat, welc)
  • “Bees?”

Something I’ve realized

agent-californiaa:

Fanon Fake AH Crew: super badass motherfuckers, can do no wrong other than the obvious wrong, pull off heists flawlessly, rule Los Santos, scary as fuck

Canon Fake AH Crew: “Suck my diiiiiick!” -Ryan; “Oh FUCK I got ran over!” -Geoff; “Holy shit I just killed that guy! I threw him off a cliff!” -Michael; “I AM MONSTER TRUCK!” -Lil J; “What’s going on here?” -Jack; “[continuous screaming]” -Gavin