icouldwritebooks:

a-fragile-sort-of-anarchy:

a-fragile-sort-of-anarchy:

I have a lot of teenage friends/mutuals who are “mature” and cool and whatever, but the bottom line is, unless you’re helping them with gender, sexual orientation, mental illness, abuse, etc. you shouldn’t be having conversations with a minor that you wouldn’t have in front of their parents.

The internet is weird. Some of my favourite artists on here are, like, sixteen. Teenagers are talented! They’re funny! They’re cool! They’re people.

But they’re also kids, and you have to respect and understand that, because ultimately, any friendship you have with a minor is also a responsibility, and if the fact that y’all both like the same cartoons is enough to make you “forget” that, or enough to make you “overlook” that, it isn’t a responsibility you’re ready for.

The only reason you should ever be in a kid’s life as an adult is because you’re prepared to be the kind of adult you needed at their age. That’s it.

If the relationship gets more intimate than “older sibling”, you’re being gross. If you’re saying anything to them that could be taken as a sexual advance or as emotional abuse “out of context”, you’re objectively being gross! If you’re relying on a kid to be your best friend in the same way a fellow adult would, your probably being, you guessed it, super gross. Full stop.

I don’t want any of my younger mutuals to see this and feel like I don’t respect you or care about you or like you, by the way. It’s the exact opposite! I think you’re great, and I want you to be healthy and happy, and part of that is establishing boundaries and understanding how we’re different, even if we have a lot in common that makes us great friends! That’s a great thing to do in any friendship.

I think it’s worth noting that beyond the obvious don’t flirt with kids online if you are an adult, it’s also important not to unload your adult problems on them. When my sister was a kid, she was friends with a 30-something year old woman online. She’d always complain to my sister about her financial problems, depression, and suicidal ideation. Since the woman was direct messaging her on AIM, my sister felt under a lot of pressure to fix things for her and help her. My parents were horrified when they found out, and almost banned the internet.

I don’t doubt that the woman talking to my sister had completely unmalicious intentions, and that she did genuinely need (and deserve!) help. I don’t think that there’s anything wrong with adult bloggers posting about their problems on their own blog. However, if they start specifically messaging a minor on this site about their problems, that’s forcing the minor into a role that they really shouldn’t be expected to perform. That kind of stuff needs to be saved for peers or professionals.